I was planning to write something today about the state of the world and the many strange and nonsensical things, such as why Amazon can send you a book overnight but we can’t get out of Afghanistan….then I thought I’d write about Benjamin Franklin and why he could convey his messages better than anyone, even better than people today with all their technology. Now, since I have only five minutes to write, I’ll pass on this advice I gave to my 13-year-old son on the key points to winning a woman’s heart:

#1 Pecs (as in pectorals). Some women think this is important. If the woman you are attracted to thinks so, you should pay attention to that. But other women don’t care.

 #2 Learn to BBQ really well. If you can control fire, women will love it. If you can cook a few things, that’s great too, but the fire part is really important.

 #3 Listen well and long. Almost every woman I know (even those who seem quiet), have a lot to say. If you can build up your listening skills to a minimum of one hour per day, you have a chance. You must appear interested even if you are not. Try not to play a video game or push buttons on an electronic device during the talking.

 #4 Save someone’s life. My brother once saved a man drowning in the Bay. He was a hero and I bet women would still like that story. I have told a few men that I saved a man drowning in the bay and they just think I’m a nice person. They expect a woman to help someone in need.

 #5 Most important, treat your woman with love and respect, especially respect. This is easier said than done. Women and men need about 50 years to learn how to do this so if you really want to get expert advice attend a few 50-year anniversary parties.

 #6 Be chivalrous. Woman want to be respected as equal partners but they still love the chivalry stuff, even if they pretend they don’t. I guess there may be exceptions but I haven’t come across any.

 #7 Dress well. If you have to, go to a nice men’s store and ask someone for help. A few women don’t care much about this, but many do pay attention to appearance.

 #8 When in doubt, pray.

I guess there should be 10 points but that’s all I can think of now.  After I shared this with my sons, my younger son said, “You talk to Dad for an hour a day?” I said yes. He said, “What do you talk about?” I said, “I don’t know…food, the weather, Obama, the economy, cell phone chargers….” Then he said, “Wow. I don’t think I could do that.” I said, “Well, start practicing now. What do you like to talk about now?” He said, “Well, I do talk about gaming for a few hours a day to my friends.”  I said: “Great. Just find a girl who likes gaming and you are all set!” His response: “Mom, I’m never getting married.” I said, “OK, just keep these points in mind in case you change your mind.”