Sometimes so much happens each day it can make our head spin. Those are the days I feel most compelled to write. It helps me slow down and reflect on things. But also it helps me remember and observe.

Mostly I want to remember good things, of course, like anyone would. Take last Tuesday, for example. I had to drive to Santa Rosa, over an hour away, for a meeting. There was lots of traffic and I didn’t know where I was going. However, the meeting itself was happy, as I saw an old friend and met some new ones who are involved in an organization I admire and may join. The best part of my excursion, though, was on the way home. There was still some traffic. But there were a few stretches of beautiful countryside, with rolling brown hills, planted with grapevines. This was unexpected. It seems that vineyards in California have expanded even to Santa Rosa, miles away from the heart of the wine country in Napa and Sonoma. I loved seeing the grapevines, heavy with fall’s harvest. Every time I see grapevines I remember the years I used to drive to Sonoma to visit my brother. During those years my kids were small. I would pack them up in the car and head up to Sonoma for a day with my brother, sister-in-law and her kids. I always looked forward to seeing the landscape, changing from busy, urban Berkeley to bucolic Sonoma. I could always tell what season it was by how large the grapes were on the vines. September is the peak month. The fields are abundant with clusters of lovely red grapes.

I was close to my sister-in-law at that time in my life and her warm, friendly reception was intoxicating. I found myself relaxed in her presence—here was another mom like me, with whom I could share my ups and downs, struggles and successes. In the meantime, she would ply me with homemade goodies, special coffee and her latest finds at Trader Joe’s. One time it was yogurt-covered raisins. The next it was Chai tea. The hours passed slowly as we watched the kids play, walked to the park behind their house, and laughed at random memories. Funny, in all those times in Sonoma we never did drink wine together…but I guess we didn’t need it. Sadly, my brother and sister-in-law moved to another state a few years after those years and later they got divorced. It was the end of an era. Still, I’ll always remember those sunny Sonoma days.

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A couple of days ago I noticed there was a full moon in the sky. It reminds me that life is always pregnant with possibilities. I didn’t know, starting out last Tuesday, that I would see vineyards in Santa Rosa and they would bring back memories of my sister-in-law. I also didn’t know I would encounter the flip side of unexpected joy—unexpected sorrow. I felt that on Tuesday too. The old friend I saw in Santa Rosa is suffering—though bravely and optimistically—because her husband has cancer. She and her husband are good people—some of the best I know. In a few years, when they retire and move back to the Bay Area, we plan to see a lot more of them. I never imagined that one of them would get cancer. I find myself now, in the midst of writing, offering a prayer for God’s healing and grace. Please God, allow my friend to live a long and healthy life.

My friend who has cancer has a great sense of humor and wit. I hope this is helping him through these days. Years ago, he used to visit us frequently while traveling to California. The first thing he would do would be to seek out my children to “eat their toes.” The children screamed in delight and horror as he stomped around the house looking for their toes. Once he impressed us greatly by doing a full body dive down our stairs in search of the toes. This, from a man who is at least 6’4”. He had (and has) the great capacity to be completely silly at one moment and then engage us in a deep discussion of politics and religion the next. He is a Christian who has great faith but also thoughtfully questions dogma and the status quo.

If I do join the organization in Santa Rosa, I’ll be making trips there twice a month. (Ironically, the organization is called The Journey Center.) I dread the traffic but I also look forward to the scenery and ruminations along the way. An hour in the car counts as a small journey. It reminds me of the quote I’ve seen many times: “life is what happens to you as you’re making other plans.” Our plans appear to take us one place, but life has a whole, wide world to show us.